LIAP #06 - Family Wedding

Wedding is a family project that needs more than six months of planning and preparation for a one day event.Most of us have to become accidental project managers.



Every parent with children will have expereince in managing their children's wedding, sooner or later.Wedding is a wedding project where the father and mother elevated themselves to become project directors and project managers. In some cases the parent's fathers and mothers will join as project consultants-appointed or self-imposed!

As parents, when we got married, our parents hosted the event. As we grow older, when our children are getting married it is our turn. We got experience as the bride and the grom but we do not have the knowledge and experience on how to do it. My first experience was more than twelve years ago. My three decades of experience in managing construction and business project helped me a lot but wedding project is a different kettle of fish. A few things beyond our control. We have just to accept and embrace them.

From my personal experience in two wedding for my sons, it is better to have at least six months time before the weeding date. It is a lot of planning and decisions to make and you can only see the outcome on that wedding day.So, pray a lot so that it will happen as you plan. Insya Allah.

The first ting is to decide on the date  agreeable by both parties, the place of the wedding event and the number of people to invite from both families. This needs time to get all the stakeholders to agree and the to get the budget approved by those who are paying for the bills. It is no small matter.

Budget depends on the wedding procurement and activities. In the parlance of project management it is called the scope of work. It is important to define what is included; failing which we shall encounter scope creeps. This will lead to expenditure beyond the approved budget.  No matter how you control, there is bound to be something extra that need to be done. I allocate 10% the most. In family event, we shall encounter family and friend advisors on what we should do and how to do based on their expertise. My advice to my sons not to add anything extra unless the advisors are willing to foot the extra bills. And it happened.

I have hosted two types of wedding-first was at the public hall where guests are seated(12:30pm to 2:30pm) and being served; the second was at my mother's house in my kampung buffet style where guest can come from 12:30pm to 4:30pm. Each needed two event management styles.  For the first one, we fixed the number of tables(guests) and strict time when event took place-eating and ceremony. The second one ,we invited 500 people and get the food ready for 1,000. We do not know how many will come and a few guests arrived at 6:30pm and we have to serve them. 

On the wedding day, we parents will be too busy meeting the guests and occassionally making last minute decisions. The other activities can be contracted out and managed by other family members and friends.  Most of them have no experience. It is imperative that we create and form the Wedding Project Team so that everyone knows their roles and responsibilities. What will happen on the wedding day will happen no matter how good is our planning. Communication is the key  for monitoring and control. I used four walkie-talkie for my key people to communicate. Any issues or problems could be solved or decided will escalate to me.

Looking back, to ensure we can host good wedding for my children, I focussed on the following:

1. The Wedding Venue

2. The guests and the gifts

3. The food and drinks

4. The ceremonies-bersanding,speech etc.

5. Last but not least, budget control.

I have three sons and no daughters. Two wedding done and one more to go,Insya Allah. Now, I have seven grand children-5 boys and two girls. Alhamdulilah.




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